Baby Blues
by cgaussie
Summary: CatDog are still young, and Winslow, being low on cash decides to enter CatDog *or is that KittyPuppy* into a cute baby competition.


BABY BLUES   
By: Cartman's Girl   
  
Notes.   
1. I made up a few names here, but please forgive me.   
  
---   
  
Winslow laid fast asleep in his bed, he sighed heavily. He loved mornings like this, he was nice and warm in his bed and nothing was going to disturb him for a while. He yawned then snuggled down into his bed some more, just as he was beginning to doze off..   
  
"WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" the place shook from the sudden shock. Winslow practically fell out of his bed and landed on the hard wood floor.   
  
"Huh boy... I was thinkin' too soon..." he muttered. He climbed to his feet, stepped into his fluffy slippers and slipped on his dressing gown and kicked the door open.   
  
It opened with a slam, and he entered the big room. Sunlight was pouring in through the arched window, lighting up the brightly coloured room. Obviously it was for a youngster, er, youngsters from first glance. Little toys were laying all around the room, half empty bottles of milk, rattles and also a pacifier joined them.   
  
Winslow walked around them all as he neared the cot, one end shapped in a somewhat cat-like shape, the other dog-like. The crying continued as he climbed up the side of the cot and looked in.   
  
Looking back at him was one end of the conjoined quadreped, also known as CatDog. The dog part was still fast asleep, despite the fact his brother was bawling his eyes out.   
  
"Uhh Cat, you just love doin' this to me doncha?" Winslow asked still half asleep. The only responce he got was Cat still crying loudly. His mouth shaped into a small 'o' now and again, and his tiny paws were waving around. Also emmiting somewhat 'sucking' sounds at the same process Cat continued to brawl loudly.   
  
"All right all right! Hang on!" Winslow called at him, he pulled the pacifier from Dog's mouth and shoved it into Cat's. Before Dog had a chance to start wimpering, Winslow placed a bone where the pacifier had once been.   
  
Winslow left the room quickly through his small door. He had no idea why he kept looking after CatDog, just seemed to be an instinct after having the two land on him in the middle of the street. Both had him practically wrapped around their little paw, since he liked peace and quiet. He thought he'd be able to handle a Puppy and Kitten. Boy was he wrong.   
  
The kitchen was just as much as a mess as CatDog's nursery. Thrown food, hairballs, half sucked/chewed bones - Dog was teething - laid around the slippery floor. Winslow opened the fridge and took out some milk, he poured it into a bottle and shoved it into the nearly ancient microwave.   
  
The crying above him became louder, obviously Cat had spat the pacifier out.   
  
"Sheesh louize.." Winslow muttered as the microwave rattled, almost exploded, but finished warming the milk. He stuck the teet onto the bottle, then raced into his door, and exited in the nursery again.   
  
He almost tripped on the spat pacifier, but leapt over it dragging the bottle. He climbed up the cot, and shoved the bottle into Cat's mouth. As soon as he done that, Cat stopped catter-waling. Winslow sat on the side of the cot and heaved.   
  
"Who needs work out sessions whens I got you two brats huh?" he asked. Dog just stared at him blankly, his mouth still full of the bone while Cat purred to himself as he drank the milk down.   
  
"Ah don't gimmie that look..." Winslow said to Dog. Dog seemed to shrug then looked away.   
  
---   
  
"No, no! Dog eat the mushed apples, don't wear the things!" Winslow cried. He had just turned around for a second to get his java coffee, and as he turned back around Dog had promptly picked up his dinner bowl and placed it on his head and was giggling loudly.   
  
Cat on the other hand wasn't eating at all, he still had the same bottle in his mouth and had refused to let go, even when it was full. Winslow rushed back across the floor and climbed up Dog's high chair and began whiping the apples off Dog's head.   
  
"Dat's a bad dog! Very bad! How many times do I gotta tells ya? Eat food, don't wear it! You only wear it... well I'll tells ya that when your older." snickered Winslow as he cleaned out Dog's ears. Gee, apples seemed to get everywhere now a days.   
  
Ding Dong! The door bell rang loudly.   
  
"Oh boy... now don't move boys an I mean it!" Winslow backed on the two, and went into the living room which looked like an atom bomb had hit. More toys were around the house then in CatDog's nursery! Winslow opened his own sized door and stepped out.   
  
"May I help you?" he asked, looking up.   
  
Looking down at him was a female bird, an ostrich. She looked down at him, then lowered her head to his height and shoved a name tag into his face.   
  
"Regina Steenfield. I'm here over your bills." she said simply, and by the tone of voice she was very stiff-upper lipped.   
  
"Uhh.. what, am I behind?" Winslow asked, rubbing his eyes since the writing had been in bold yellow print.   
  
"Behind isn't a word I'd use to describe it Mr. Oddfellow! Your Electricity bill goes back to the 1815's! And electricity wasn't even around back then!" at that, Regina let herself in. And boy was she surprised at the mess!   
  
"...do you harbor pigs here Mr. Oddfellow?" she asked, kicking a dirty rag away.   
  
"Um, no... you see, I've got, uhh... babies." Winslow had no idea weather to say baby or babies. I mean sure it was one body, but two different heads made it difficult to work out which was which.   
  
"Babies.. and you raise them in this mess? That shan't be good for their health and-is that GRASS growing from the second floor?!" she could clearly see grass vines stretching down from the hallway above them.   
  
"...It's a house plant! Just kinda, over fed it. Y'know, like from Barber shop o' horrors or somethin'." Winslow replied, wishing he had mowed up there like he said he would.   
  
"Mr. Oddfellow I hope you realise your positioin. Behind with the rent, gas bill, eletricity bill, and harbouring young ones in a place that is obviously unhealthy to rear children in." Regina was writing away on a clipboard she had pulled from under a wing.   
  
"Um, no." Winslow said simply. She pointed a feather at him.   
  
"If you don't pay your bills and bring this place up to scratch in one week, I'm calling Child Health and having the children taken away from you, and also the police to arrest you for child dangerment and failour to pay bills. Good day Mr. Oddfellow. See you in a week!"   
  
And with that, she was gone. Winslow blinked.   
  
"Huh boy... behind in bills, and now CatDog's gonna be taken away if I don't get this place sorted out. Huh! I'm a good parent! Sure they don't call me Dad but still! I'm puttin my life on the line to work with a Cat! I swear the guy's been licking his lips more often.. little rat... oh wait that's an insult to me too! I'm a good parent I tells ya!"   
  
With that Winslow walked back into the kitchen, to find Cat had somehow gotten out of his high chair and had climbed to the top of the kitchen drapes, dragging Dog who was still seated in his highchair and was wimpering loudly.   
  
"...darn."   
  
---   
  
"Okays, I gotta finds a quick way to make cash to pay off dem bills 'n also get someone to clean up this mess! Hmm... organ doners, no, too messy... lab rat needed, no way!" Winslow was reading through the newspaper, while CatDog sat securly in their playpen which looked somewhat familiar to the Rugrats playpen.   
  
Dog tilted his head to the side as he heard Winslow going through job after job. He turned to Cat who was batting a little yarn ball around.   
  
"Hey Cat?" Dog asked, as he crawled over to his brother.   
  
"Hmm?" Cat replied, now on his back and still toying with the yarn ball.   
  
"Winsee's in big doodie." Dog observed as he pointed at Winslow who was on his umptheenth cup of coffee.   
  
"So?" Cat asked, now taking a bite with his gumless mouth onto the yarn ball.   
  
"Well... umms... I heard him sayin', dat a big things... g-gonna come 'n taken him away 'n us away." Dog said as he toyed with his finger.   
  
"So?" Cat asked again, after spitting the yarn ball out.   
  
"I-I don wanna have Winsee go away." Dog said, tears welling up in his eyes. Cat looked at Dog, and rolled his eyes.   
  
"Doggie, look, Winslame always gets outta tribbles, so what says he'll stay in dis one?" Cat explained as he looked for his pacifier.   
  
"What if he does not?" Dog asked, getting worried and more upset.   
  
"He wont'ed." Cat said sharply.   
  
Dog looked back at Winslow who was now fast asleep at the table. He looked back at Cat.   
  
"We need some freezin moolah." Dog said happily.   
  
"Huh?" Cat asked, totally missing what Dog meant.   
  
"Moolah. Winsee says it, it's dis green stuff. We need green stuff! I knows where we get greened stuff." Dog said happily, he crawled over to the pen hitch, dragging Cat with him.   
  
"Doggie..! It's almost nappy time!" Cat complained.   
  
"What you like more, Nappy or Winsee?" Dog asked.   
  
"Nappy."   
  
---   
  
Winslow slowly opened his eyes, then sat up sharply. What was the time?   
  
"Huh... 4.30... nice.." he muttered as he shook his head then stopped. He saw something in the paper he had over looked before. He lifted it up and read aloud.   
  
"Cute Baby Competetion. Does you have the cutest Baby? We're offerin' a $10,000 reward, as well as free Baby supplies for a year 'n a free house cleanin' bizz AND have your baby appear in next years Cute Baby Calander. Bring yer baby to Town Hall at 5.00 Today!" he lowered the paper. That much money was all he needed, also having the house cleaned would work too, ALSO having supplies mean he wouldn't have to borrow more 'n more money from his wealthy sister!   
  
"Heh heh, dis his perfect! W-wait... 5.00?! Holy Schamoley! Wese gotta get there in half 'n hour!" Winslow turned to the pen where CatDog were fast asleep, half burried in old cabbage, lime, unripe banana peels and other green stuff.   
  
"...huh?"   
  
The next few minutes was fast confusion. He took CatDog into the bathroom, washed and dried them in under five minutes flat; put on bonnets and also baby-boy blue shirts on them, pacifier in each mouth, and dragged them to the pram and put them in, and rode out on the pram out the door, headed for Nearburg Town Hall.   
  
---   
  
The line was longer then Winslow expected. He didn't know there was so many babies in Nearburg, and by the time he got there the line was already long! In the line there was to name a few...   
  
A bulldog couple, they were known as Maurice and Marueen Feltbottom. Maurice was the new Sports Coach at Nearburg highschool. With them in a pram was their little son, known as Cliff. Cliff was a fat little thing, who had red hair just sprouting at the top of his head. He already had a whistle like his Dad's drapped around his neck, and he was in leather clothing from top-to-toe. Cliff wasn't exactly what'd you'd call cute... but eh.   
  
To Winslows surprise there was a Hill Billy couple, a Dog as well as Cat. He'd never seen them before, but they had a raggety pram with them. Inside the pram were two puppies, one that was obviously a girl, on account of the pink ribbon in it's red hair had paler fur, while the boy, obvious since he was in blue (rather messy too might I add) had tan fur. The boy was sucking on a piece of wood while the little girl was hugging a toy cat.   
  
Then to everyone's surprise, up drove a limo. It belonged to the most richest couple in Nearburg, the Dubious'. The Dubious' were rich poodles who had come to America from France a long time ago. Bringing their wealth with them. The mother had blonde hair and always had her eyes in a squint, she was wearing very fashionable clothing. The father, who had used to be a crook turned good guy, was rather portly and had black hair on his head. Their daughter was in a very richly looking pram, she looked like her Mother and was dressed all in pink. They stood with the group, the Feltbottom's didn't look pleased.   
  
"Hey snobs, whaddya think yer doin'?" Maurice declared. The Dubious' glanced at him, looking like he'd just made a bad smell.   
  
"Mm, what do you mean by that?" asked Mr. Dubious.   
  
"Youse are so rich you got golden bones 'n hydrants! Whaddya think yer doin' enterin' in a competetion you could easily just buy?" Maurice walked up to them rolling a sleeve up, leaving his wife to tend to Cliff who had started to wave his little fists in the Dubious' direction.   
  
"Oh please, our little girl in a calander? Plus give up the opportunity to show that our little cutesy-wootsey is more cuter then all of yours put together? Hah!" miffed Mrs. Dubious as she scooped the little puppy girl into her arms. But I might add, the daughter didn't look happy.   
  
"Why youse... I'd bust ya in yer chops!" Maurice declared shaking his fist. Little Cliff spoke up with the only word he could speak so far,   
  
"Fight fight!" but he was hushed by his Mom.   
  
"You touch us and you'll find yourself in prision! And if you do, say hi to the chaps for me." replied Mr. Dubious simply. Maurice just snarled at him.   
  
"Huh boy, what a circus huh boys?" Winslow looked down at CatDog who just stared blankly at him.   
  
---   
  
"Okay, Mommies? Daddies? If you could please place the little dears in their numericly labeled places?" came a voice over a loud speaker, "We'll start the competetion!"   
  
Parents upon parents put their children into the cots and wrote their names onto the clipboard ahead of them. Names names and more names... To name a few,   
  
Shriek Dubious, Clifford Feltbottom, Ignatius McDog/Catfield, Ellie Mae Sue McDog/Catfield, Eddie Squealer, Rancid Rabbit, Dunglap Rotem, Mervis Pantry, Randolph Grant... and to name our favourite, CatDog (Oddfellow).   
  
Dog was pulling at his bonnet and whining.   
  
"Cattie...! I don like dis thing! It's all itchy!" he whined as he still pulled at it. Cat was licking his hand and wiping his tiny whiskers clean.   
  
"Doggie, pleeeaaseee. Dis is the beautiful peoples! We can show em how rug..rug... ruggety good lookin' we are!" Cat declared, fixing his bow which held his bonnet in place.   
  
Dog continued to whine as he glanced from Shriek to Clifford, from Clifford to Ignatius and so on and so on...   
  
"Sure is a lotta babies round here Cattie." Dog observed, not recognising the look Shriek was giving him.   
  
"Course there is, what, thinking we're the only ones here?" Cat replied.   
  
"It's crazy 'n'wild 'n' I love it!" came a voice from across the way from CatDog. They looked over to see a young kitten sat there, he had the same fur colouring as CatDog and was dressed rather smartly. He was waving his rattle in the air, "Lookit! The colours! Ooo... so crazy 'n' wild!"   
  
CatDog blinked, and looked at each other. They then heard to voices from further down.   
  
"It's my bottle!"   
  
"No it's not it's my bottle!"   
  
"Who says?"   
  
"Me!"   
  
"Big deal!"   
  
The two looked down to see a baby pig and weasal fighting over a bottle. The two were bickering a lot, then the piglet ended up hitting the weasal over the head with the bottle, making him cry. CatDog sat back and looked at each other.   
  
"Maybe we can pass as normal!" Dog declared happily.   
  
---   
  
Meanwhile, down the other side of the room where little Randolph was still dazzled by his rattle...   
  
"Com'on plleeeeaasseee? I wanna be tough 'n big!" a little squirrel, by the name of Eddie, was jumping on the spot while talking to Cliff. "Why can't I join yer little group? Why why why?"   
  
"Cause puney! Your not a doggie like me!" Cliff replied, "Youse gotta be a doggie ta get into my group!" declared Cliff proudly. "'N yer not a doggie, your a rat!"   
  
"I am too a doggie! Grrr! Grrr! Woof! Woof!" Eddie started barking and howling loudly, until his Mom came up and carried him away. Cliff sighed heavily, then looked over to the other side. There sat Ignatius and Ellie Mae Sue. Cliff binked.   
  
"Who are youse? I never seen you babies before." he asked the two. Ignatius stared blankly at him.   
  
"Hiii! I'm Ellie 'n dis is my brother Ignatius! But we call im Lube cause Mommy said he is all oily 'n stuff." Ellie replied, her red hair covering half her face. Lube smiled at Cliff dim-wittingly and drooled a bit.   
  
"Um... yeah." Cliff replied.   
  
"Nnnggg!! I hate this! I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT!!!!" came the shrieking voice of the Dubious' daughter, two seats down from Cliff. The three looked down to see Shriek tugging at the pink dress she was wearing. She was having a little fit all on her own. She pulled at her dress, at her bows, at her hair...   
  
"I DON' WANNA BE HERE!" she shrieked. Cliff winced.   
  
"Now I knows why they called her Shriek." he muttered. The brother and sister nodded.   
  
---   
  
"May the judging begin!" came a voice from the loud speaker. A big door opened and a rather proud looking peacock entered the room, and opened his huge tail feathers out proudly. Making everyone in the room hush, even the squealing Shriek.   
  
"OOoooo..." came a few surprised voices.   
  
The peacock walked along, looking from baby to baby. There were fat ones, thin ones, prissy ones, dirty ones, fighting ones, calm ones, tough ones, crying ones... but he came to a stop when he reached CatDog. He stared at the two.   
  
"...what the?" he asked. He then picked up the two in his feathers, and turned the two over. "Um... Oddfellow?" he called out.   
  
The parents looked from one to the other, wondering who the Oddfellow was, who had stopped the judging. Winslow ran out from under them, making some of the Mothers shriek because he was a rat. He walked up to the peacock.   
  
"Present!" he declared. The peacock looked down at him.   
  
"...you, you are responsible for this..?" he asked. "I fail to see the family resemblance."   
  
"Heh heh, oh no youse see... I'm kinda like their Daddy since they were left on the street." Winslow replied.   
  
"No wife?" the peakcock asked.   
  
"Nope. Just me!" Winslow replied happily. Some of the parents looked a little surprised, I mean, a small blue rat like that looking after what looked like a pair of lively babies?   
  
"Hmmm-mmm.. I see I see..." the peacock placed CatDog back down and went back to check the other babies and stopped at the end.   
  
There was a long pause.   
  
Very long.   
  
"I have chosen the winner." declared the peacock, shocking everyone there. Even making Dunglap burst into tears.   
  
"The winner, and the one who's to have free baby supplies for a year as well as have the prize money, AND someone clean their entire house is..."   
  
There was a dramatic pause for effect. A drum rolled past. (Badda-bin, badda-boom)   
  
"CatDog Oddfellow!" declared the peacock, opening his wings and tail feathers out. Winslow cheered loudly.   
  
"YESS! I knew it! Heh heh! We done it! We done it!" he danced a bit, then climbed up to where CatDog was.   
  
"We done it!" he declared happily again.   
  
But the mood in the rest of the parents weren't as cheery.   
  
"Two headed babies is that allowed?"   
  
"He obviously bribed the judge. Why didn't you think of that?"   
  
"That's cute? If that's cute then I'm pertier then a flower in tha sunlight!"   
  
"Lying blue rat..."   
  
As well from the babies!   
  
"This isn't crazy 'n' wild 'n' I don't like it!"   
  
"Grrr, darn kittie!"   
  
"Duhhh... fishy."   
  
"It was mines I tells ya, mine mine!"   
  
There was a hushed pause as the judge left. Then it began! A brawl! The parents as well as the kids advanced onto CatDog and Winslow! There was name calling, rattle hitting and so forth. It created such a large cloud of dust, and some cots were hit. There was a hooting of a horn outside while the fight went on.   
  
"Come on paw, that's our bus!" called out PussyCat as she grabbed onto the cot, which now only had Ellie Mae Sue in.   
  
"Comin' Maw!" replied HoundDog. The two, who thought they were three, left in the midst of the mad rush, unaware they had forgotten Ignatius who was now on the floor hiding under a table.   
  
More fighting and brawling went on, and luckily Cat picked Winslow up by the scruff of his shirt, and he and Dog rushed from the room. Winslow grabbed the certificiation of winners stuff as they left. Little Cliff and Shriek saw the group leave. Cliff shook his fist.   
  
"We'll get you CatButt! We'll get youse back!" Cliff called back.   
  
"'N dat's a promise!!" added Shriek.   
  
---   
  
"Ahhh... dis is the life, ain't it boys?" Winslow and CatDog were back home, safe and sound and it was a week later already. The bills had been paid, and the place had been cleaned up too. CatDog, now shiney and clean were in their play pen. Cat was batting a little ball around and Dog was going after it happily.   
  
"We should be expectin' Ms High 'N Mighty any second.." Winslow glanced at his watch.   
  
DING DONG!   
  
"Ah there she is!" Winslow walked to the door, opened it and looked out. There she stood, in all her, ahem, glory again, Regina Steenfield.   
  
"Good day Mr. Oddfellow." she proclaimed.   
  
"Yeah good days." Winslow replied as he opened the bigger door allowing her in. She walked in and stopped dead at her tracks. The house was spottless! CatDog was spottless! The place was so clean you could see your reflection in anything.   
  
"...Mr. Oddfellow... h-how..?" she was somewhat speechless.   
  
"Oh you know what they say Miss, put ya mind to it, 'n you can achive many great things." Winslow replied.   
  
Meanwhile inside the playpen Dog was happily chewing on the fetch ball.   
  
"So are you happy now Doggie?" Cat asked as he picked up his yarn ball. Dog nodded happily in responce.   
  
"Good! So am I. I think, things can only get better from here on in. You think so too?"   
  
Dog happily nodded in responce again.   
  
"Yeah, me too."   
  
THE END... of the beginning 


End file.
